November 14, 2021

by Colin Drohan


I watched a man
chase an octopus around
and make weak declarations
about how his life was changing
because of it. I’m sorry.
I just do not believe
this man. I love octopuses.
I agree there is much
we can learn from them.
They are more intelligent
than most people I’ve met.
What I do not love is men
who think they are important
enough to make a documentary
about absolute nonsense.
When the credits started
rolling I thought, oh, this
man is such a ridiculous liar.
It’s the same type of doubt
I have when people talk
about the moon landing.
Why do we believe
these things just because
distant strangers say to?
I want to talk to Neil Armstrong.
I want the proof.
And I want this octopus man
to prove he was following
the same mollusk for as long
as he claims. I know the animal
is dead now, but I need
something. I am so tired
of being so scammed.
It would be much easier
if there were wounds
I could shove my hands into.
That’d be proof enough.



Colin Drohan is from Chicago. He is the archives editor for jubilat and the assistant director of writing programs at Catapult. He lives in western Massachusetts.